Thailand: Ban Mueang -Pai, a mountain, mud and a random temple- Day 3
The Red roosters awaiting the shenanigans of the day to come
Hitting the road today our first order of business was to refuel the trusty steeds. Now refuelling a bike may not seem like a big deal as like any developed country there are big service stations with all the fast-food franchises attached to them dotted all over Thailand but when you step outside a metropolis that’s when it can get a little loose. A civilised refuel is an old school hand pump out of a 44 gallon drum at a corner store and if you’re desperate it’s a street vendor who sells it by the litre in plastic bottles. All of them fill you up like old school service attendants and it’s nice to see good old friendly customer service is still alive. One thing I’m learning here in Thailand is that you can pretty much get anything from your local corner store. It’s probably where the franchise 7 to 11 originated from but only there on steroids. Don’t have electricity and want a cold beer, no problem just asks and hey presto one miraculously appears, it’s as simple as that. Not that I advocate having a cold beer first thing in the morning or when riding a bike, but you get my drift, anything is possible in Thailand and that’s probably one of the reasons why I love it so much here.
How’s that for a morning view, pretty hard way to wake up if you ask me.
The bike fuelled up with ‘go go’ juice, I picked up a local red Bull variant that I’m sure is made up of cocaine, sugar, caffeine, water, and every other stimulant known to man. I was warned to use it sparingly and they were right a couple sips of this concoction and if I knew how to do wheelies, I’d be wheeling up a mountain it really did give you a kick and as it turned out I was going to need it in the adventure ahead.
A little bit of customer service goes a long way, refuelling Thai 7 to 11 local store style.
Go Go Juice at a store on the side of the road
Jungle single trail, good fun and a Challenge, just don’t slip off the side of the mountain
Pai was supposed to be a leisurely 4 hours away but when I asked our tour guide what type of trail it was, I knew it was going to be anything but leisurely. “Oh single trail and good double trail with a couple of mountains”. It must have been her hint of a smile that gave it away but I’m pretty sure there and then I felt every muscle and bone in my body scream out in protest. Poor old Red, well he near on curled up in the foetal position and started mumbling incoherent Texan gentlemanly profanities. I love single trails they offer you such an adrenaline rush, they’re technical and challenging and really let you know you are alive. Whereas Red he’s a more defined path rider, by his own admission, so I knew today was going to be a tough one.
Man Down !! Red inspecting the bushes after his little dirt napping detour. Note the Moss on the trail in the picture below. it was super slippery as poor old red found out, shortly after I took this photo
Sure enough, an hour into the ride we came to a particularly difficult looking descent. P’Lah went on ahead to check it out, returning 5 minutes later and conversed with Grace in Thai. Listening intently and with no real idea what was being said but guessing from there body language and the frequent glances down the hill that it’s going to be gnarly, engines off descent with a high probability of eating dirt as it’s slippery as hell, so for fucks sake don’t damage yourself or the bikes. Sure, enough her translation was a little more professional. “Hey guys it’s a steep slippery engines off descent, please go slowly and carefully. We’re happy to ride your bike down for you if you like”. Well that confirmed it, but to me that was like a red rag to a bull and my pride was not going to let me yield, so off I went first. Slipping and sliding with all the grace of a bull in a China shop
Head on over to the Mr Meanderthal FB page or Instagram and view a funny video of Red taking a tumble on the mountain
It was probably a 400m descent around a corner and definitely got the heart racing but I was pretty chuffed I made it. I whipped out my camera to film the others coming down. Red was next in line and got to the corner and went straight off into the brushes in a somewhat graceful manner to eat some greenery for a change. Grace and P’lah came to his assistance as it appeared he was trapped under his steed. Righting the bike Red crawled out, dusted himself off, had a laugh and accepted Graces offer to ride his bike down the rest of the way. Taking a couple of steps down the trail and the mountain wasn’t quite finished with him, barely 10 m away from where he came a cropper his feet slipped out from under him and this time, he ungracefully ate some dirt. But the best part was it looked funny as hell so will post it to the Facebook page and Insta for your entrainment.
Slip sliding in the mud, even the tour guide decided to have a little dirt nap here. The mountain doesn’t discriminate, the picture kind of indicate the steepness of the trail.
After having had a laugh at Reds demise, it wasn’t too long before Karma came to bite me on the arse. It was my turn to pay homage to the mountain and eat some dirt. Pushing on up the mountain the trail narrowed, my concentration waned briefly and before I knew it my front tyre had slipped off the trail and I couldn’t correct it so down I went with the bike. Sliding about 3 or so metres off the trail I managed to grab a sapling and stopped the slide. I was a little trapped under the bike and every time I moved the bike it would precariously slide a little more down the mountain. I dared not breathe and just sat there awaiting my rescue. Such was the steepness of the slope we had to tie a rope off to the front forks of the bike and secure it to a tree above my position to prevent it disappearing off down the mountain. That little recovery took us a good 40 minutes of wrestling the bike and skull dragging it up the mountain. Sheepishly I conceded that my rescue truly warranted a Thai bike riding penalty. That is one help equals one beer.
Improvised temples like this pop-up all over Thailand, usually in some very beautiful places
Eventually arriving at the top of the mountain we stopped for a well-earned break at an impromptu ad hoc temple. We were all drained and exhausted, the mountain had given us a thorough beating for our troubles and here we sat peacefully in silence nursing our bruises and damaged pride listening to the birds sing out over the mountain. I could see why the mountain had this temple now it really was a Zen kind of place.
Heading down the mountain we quickly morphed from single trail to double tracks and on the dirt roads meandering through farmlands and rice plantations, the riding became relaxed and chilled. The kind of roads you can just switch off and eat up the miles. After what seemed like minutes but in reality, was probably an hour or so we finally turned onto the black stuff and negotiated a twisty road into the sleepy streets of PAI for a well-earned drink and a feed.
Another day done, more spills and thrills to account for and damn did that Mojito go down well. The 12-inch pizza when it arrived it was consumed with such ferocity you’d have thought I had not eaten for a week. Just sitting there quietly sipping on the Mojito life felt good and if this is living the dream well then I’m never coming back to the fray of city living.
