Thailand: Bangkok Part 3- The Fixer and his show.
The following day as we stepped outside our apartment block in the search for breakfast, you guessed it our fixer was there ready and waiting. Eager to provide us with his fine services. Over breakfast we decided it was better the devil you know than the one you don’t so opted to pay extra to avail him of his services (at least he spoke reasonable English). Another crazy Tuk Tuk ride through the city had us weaving in and out of the traffic with efficiency and straight past our tailors who had requested to see Red for a final fitting at 6pm that day. Naturally our fixer knew this and pointed it out that we were to avail his fine services for this commute. Arriving at the tour boat terminal and bracing ourselves for a touch up we enquired about a 1- 1.5-hour boat ride to see the local culture. The asking price was 1500 Baht, seeing we were the only customers about I tried a little bit of negotiating and the price was quickly lowered to 1000 Baht (42 AUD) for a private tour. We knew we were paying top dollar for this service but to be honest the appeal of a private tour outweighed the sting of the price, and we were sharing the boat, so the price was essentially halved and wasn’t that bad. Jumping into our long boat was an adventure in itself and the giant motor on the back ensured it really got up and boogied. There’s something about ripping up the river in your own boat and zooming past full tourist boats and not being a sheeple that made it all worthwhile.
Thai Long Boat - check out the Donk on it
Giving a royal wave as we passed them and sipped on our river (roadie) beer on the way to the temple. The temple (Wat Arun Ratchawararam- the temple of dawn) was amazing, the architecture intricate and you could have spent a lot longer than our allocated 30 minutes. But in a way that was more than enough because of the sheer volume of tourists there. So back to our private little tour we went and while waiting for the boat to dock we watched on as a newlywed couple tried to get wedding pictures taken on our dock with the city in the background. It was stinking hot and humid and I felt sorry for them trying to capture a private moment in a very public place. Big J’s recent wedding in Aileron was way more intimate, so mate if you are reading this, well played.
Bit hard to find intimacy and peace and quiet in Bangkok on your special day or any day for that mater
Our next part of the tour was to wind up some offshoots of the river. This portion of the tour again highlighted in plain view the diarity between poor and wealthy of the region. Little ramshackle shacks on the river were the focus amongst the accumulated garbage on the riverbanks. No electricity, running water or plumbing here, it was living at its basic rudimentary level, not by choice but out of necessity. Our guide pointed out the odd house or dilapidated barge converted into a humble abode, suddenly our private tour soured and as our white privilege crept in, I was reminded and humbled by just how lucky Australians have it with their social security and world class healthcare and services.
waterfront living- doing it tough
the old and the new
Our tour ended up in China town, and China town is a great place to go and visit if you are in the mood for markets. The shopping is everywhere, and the trinkets come in all sizes and shapes, if you want it it’s there or a knock off version is there. Just too many people for my liking. Overall the private tour was a good way to see life on the river, it was fun, a little humbling and certainly an eye opener, but if you are ever visiting this place it is certainly worth doing. Don’t worry about finding the tour or even giving it a name, the Tuk Tuk men are all on the take so they’ll get you there.
Speaking of Tuk Tuk men, our fixer had us lined up for a 6pm pick up for Red’s final suit fitting. It was raining cats and dogs again and weaving in and out of traffic in flooded streets was a challenge, traffic literally crawled along. It was painful but at least the rain was keeping it cool and washing away the smog. Arriving at our destination we were treated like returning royalty, a beer was thrust into our hands again and I sat down to watch the next episode of Red getting fleeced by the Tailor. These guys were so smooth that poor old Red never stood a chance. They had him convinced he needed another entire additional suit in a flash. It would have to be the slickest add on sales I’ve seen in my life. When they turned on me I just laughed and told them I didn’t need a linen suit for my motorbike tour. “Ooh sir you need a leather jacket”, “No mate I don’t but I’ll take another beer”, and wouldn’t you know it a beer turned up. Then they turned back to Red and tried to convince him he needed shirts to go with his new suits. I’ll give Red credit here, though frustrated at having just had his wallet lightened significantly realising the amount the man just politely said no enough is enough. But the tailor wasn’t having a bar of it, the greedy little fucker wasn’t going to stop until he’ had bled Red dry. Pausing briefly on his assault to try another approach I saw it coming and just had to intervene. I lost my shit at him and beasted him over his sales technique and went off on a rant about no meaning no. In the end he was like “no problem, sir, no problem I understand”.
Red trying on the funeral suit he’s always wanted and needed
Heading downstairs to the Tuk Tuk he had the balls to try and sell us custom made wallets as well. I guess he really didn’t understand the meaning of no. Jumping into the Tuk Tuk Red saw the funny side of it. He just bought a suit he didn’t need and proclaimed it to be the suit he would be buried in. What made that even funnier was the suit liner, it was made of a pattern with skulls on it so was appropriate for a death suit I suppose. Tuk Tuk man was keen to take us out on a night tour but we’d had our fun for the day. Take us to a bar that sells hard liquor Red said, it was lost in translation of course and we ended up at a shady strip joint. “You like?” “No mate, take us to a Farang bar” (Farang means white fella of European descent). That got us a nod of understanding and a hint of disappointment as he knew his golden goose run was coming to an end. Turns out Farang bar was the right terminology and we ended up at a great Irish pub, with a great live band playing music from the 60s, lots of hard liquor and good vibes.
Reflecting on Bangers I have to say I’m in the ‘I didn’t like it one bit’ corner. It’s a massive city that is primarily geared to extract the tourist dollar, it’s more expensive relatively to other cities in the region, and it’s hard to get around as the city is very spread out. Maybe it’s just my perception but having been in Chaing Mai for almost a week now I can honestly say they are polar opposites in just about every aspect imaginable. Not once here have I been hassled for anything not even a Tuk Tuk. Food, transport and accommodation are cheaper, and everyone is so friendly. I guess cities are impersonal at best, but Chaing Mai hands down could be a place where you make home of it if you so were inclined and I can see why it’s so popular with Expats, but that my friends is a blog for another day.
Random I know - About sums up the trend here now … pop up weed stores are everywhere now it has been made legal in Thailand
